He is.He is totally relaxed.
He is comfortable & sleeping perfectly as if nothing else matters but his deep-cozy sleep.
And, the truth is, nothing else does.
It doesn't matter how uncomfortable I feel in my new role as a mother or how silly I feel narrating my day to him (because 1-otherwise my day is PRETTY QUIET, and 2-the baby book says it's good for baby's development). It doesn't matter how much I worry that I don't know enough and don't feel quite in that place that I imagined I would magically be transformed to as soon as I became "mother".
You know, that place where I look and FEEL the part of Mommy. That place where I know what I'm doing...that place that it seems ALL OTHER Moms are ...and I was left behind. That place where I am organized, put together, looking good, feeling good, have a schedule down, and can do it all without any drama or exceptions.
All those other Moms are there, I think...what is the secret?
The secret is: all those other Moms have been where I am now (thank you, Joy for an enlightening conversation)
The secret is: I am learning more about ME right now then anything else (thank you, Mom for reminding me)
The secret is: my baby is being taken care of, he has his needs met by me & his Daddy, and HE is totally relaxed...and THAT is all that matters.
P.S. For those of you who have given sweet compliments about how I look/appear in the pics on the blog--thank you very VERY much. You have no idea how great that's made me feel.
CONFESSION: I only put semi-good to really-good pics of me on the blog. The raw truth is, many times I am in my PJs most of the day, I get a shower when Trevor is home for lunch, and I have at least twice forgotten to brush my teeth as I am going from feedings to changings to spit ups to poopy messes to naps ('sleep when he sleeps', right?) and back to feedings again...
11 comments:
I just love to read your blog now Shara! Not that I didn't before, but I VERY vividly remember being where you are right now. It is a really hard adjustment and we ALL have a difficult time. You are doing great and you are NOT alone!!!
Isn't that the truth!!! And yes, you look FABULOUS!!!! :)
I am so proud of where you are !Hey, sweetiken, he is only ...what..? 3.5 weeks old?! Its a big transition time and it DOES TAKE TIME...but you have time. Time enough, anyway. Remember, our ideals, and our ideas, are sometimes not even close to real life reality. Being a mom is a million things, but this moment is what we have to deal with RIGHT now, so it matters most. I, for one, think you are doing great, and that you SHOULD be in your gown! well, your jammies...whatever it is you wear. ( I am a gowngirl) Take this time to just keep staring into his eyes...you can see eternity there. So don't skip it.
What a great mommy. I remember feeling so overwhelmed at first but you seem to be doing especially well. Things get better all the time, especially when they start sleeping through the night! It helps to know you have things to look forward to.
I loved your momma's advice. Especially the part about taking plenty of time to stand in awe of one of God's newest creations!!! Babies/children are truly, truly breaktaking when you really stop and think about how innocent, pure, meek, and trusting they are.
I have come to believe that the veil is very thin for them. That's probably why they can't talk yet...or else they'd tell us too much!! ;-)
You are doing beautifully for the short amount of time you've been caring for him. And you're already working on his baby book?!?! WOW. I don't think I even started doing that until Joanna was like 10 months old. oops.
And I don't think we ever really feel like completely competent mothers because they develop and grow so fast. So each stage brings on new and thrilling challenges. Even now that my oldest is nearly 3 I still do PLENTY of consulting--my parents, friends, books, etc.--to tackle the daily issues that arise with the age/stage that she's at/in.
You're such a doting mother!! And YES. YES. YES. Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is NOT, I REPEAT, this is NOT the stage of our lives (raising a young family) when having an emaculately clean house is even possible, so just give it up and go with it. hehehehe
I always feel like I somehow missed some massive parenting class that everyone on earth attended, thinking how does everyone else seem to know what they're doing?! But I'm sure bit by bit it's coming every day, and before you know it you'll be reading a parenting book realizing the advice there is different from what YOU found works, yada yada yada, and you'll feel more comfortable in your parenting skin all the time.
And you DO look fabulous!
Amen, amen, amen. I think (after reading this) that maybe that is the main reason why your 2nd and even your 3rd child is so much easier than you first. You have grown together (you and your first baby) and you have moved passed all the "I am supposed to feel X... I am supposed to do X... I am supposed to..." whatever. And so then you can really just enjoy your baby because you have thrown all those silly expectations out the window.
And if you can get rid of them now... all the better. That goes for new dads too.
And I've noticed that we all seem to feel like all the other mothers around us have their acts together, and we're the only ones that don't know what we're doing.
I lived in my pajama pants while I was home. I showered and would put on a clean pair. I don't think I ever got real clothes on unless I was going somewhere. This time is all about figuring out life and each day is a new day with new challenges. That's the great thing about motherhood. There is never a dull moment and the time goes by so quickly. Embrace each moment and remember to laugh daily. Being a mother can seem overwhelming and stressful, but take time out each day to truly enjoy it and laugh about the silly things that maybe once seemed so important or major.
I still look around every Sunday and wonder how in the world all the other moms have it together when i feel like i'm going to go CRAZY!
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